Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Big Hard Sun

(Dimentions are 42" X 42") And this is meant to hang from the ceiling horizontally...but I haven't gotten it hung yet

The reviews of this piece are widely mixed. In fact, I've never gotten as much negative feedback before on a piece since this one horrible experiment I did back in college, LOL. Overall I'm almost finished, and almost happy with it. There is so much to talk about with this one...

I've already expressed my need for more sunshine in my life, and so I decided to create my own sun. What I haven't mentioned before is the negativity inside myself that I've been pushing to work through. Like my Mother/Daughter piece, I've been working this piece for therapy and striving to be my higher self. It's been over 2 years now that I've been living with Lupus, and I still struggle with Self-Pity and Jealously surrounding my lifestyle changes. And frankly I'm sick of it and I've been working hard to put it to an end.

Sometimes when friends or family talk to me about what they've been up to: an afternoon hike, a swim at the beach, rock climbing the gorge, or a bike ride around town...I feel like I want to scream. I'm sick to my stomache with jealousy, and I hate it. I want to be able to truly celebrate the great things that people are doing, not just pretend to. I know other people struggle with similar feelings. "How dare everyone else's life go on like normal!" I've done the research and my brain can adjust to the idea that this is part of the process. But I've been completely uncomfortable with these feelings, and I'm hoping this therapy has brought me much closer to emotional health, LOL.

Okay, so about the art. I began with inspiration from an old book from the early 1970's...obviously!! And I thought that was appropriate, since I was born under a 70's sun! My other beginning inspiration was from the image of a simple sun drawn by a kindergartener...the simple circle in the middle...with oddly shaped triangles protruding from all sides. LOVE IT! What says "sun" better than that??!!

Then of course, as everyone is probably sick of hearing...I've been obsessively inspired by artists, Mandy Greer and Andy Goldsworthy. So there are elements in this piece that are my tribute to them. The rest is just joyful fun! Playtime at it's best! An experiment in Order and Chaos!!

Pic of the finishing pieces before they went on. With so many little pieces going into the whole, my goal was to make each one it's own little work of art, trying to make each interesting if it had to stand alone. I admit that I wasn't quite successful...close though!!

Please ignore the mesh hanging behind the sun, I'm desperately running out of wall space for all my works in progress!!! I'll get better pics eventually.

At first I wasn't sure, but I'm loving how this piece is driving other people batty!! I feel like it's a great stepping stone on my path as an artist, and a very worthwhile exercise in creative freedom.

Twilight wanted alot of detail pics, so here you are chica!! They say God is in the details...well so am I!!


Twilight said...

I get the feeling this piece needs to be experienced in person. Like somehow I need to be with it to get the full effect.

Sarah said...

I feel so bad that you are having those feelings Kelly, but I understand too. If it makes you feel any better, I'm jealous you get to spend all your time being an artist. Of course, I'm not jealous of the Lupus, but I'd love to be at home in my studio all day cranking out the projects the way you do instead of working the 9-5! I think I agree with Twilight, maybe in person I could appreciate this piece more.

Abbey said...

Thanks Sarah!! Yes, I have a fantastic life now because of Lupus!! I just need to be grateful everyday...and stop worrying about what I've lost!! I do love the new life I've gained!! Time is precious, I remember never having enough while I worked full time!! Hang in there Sarah, your time is coming too!!!